Broken.

Friday, July 26, 2013

This morning, dishes are piled high from last night's dinner and an evening of preparing meals.  Crusty pans of lentils, onions, and various mixtures are literally heaving out of the sink and spilling out along our too-small counter top.  At 10pm, our water stopped working.  This morning, it was fixed for a few minutes, then cut out again.  Some of the perks of living in our little country fixer-upper.  Yep, sometimes, we completely run out of water and nothing comes from those shining taps. 

"Argh!  This huge mess.  I can't function like this!  Look at all the pots - seriously?  I can't even make breakfast... argh.  Honestly..."  I grumble, moan, you know, throw a childish tantrum.

I walk to our drinking water machine in an attempt to pour some cool water into a pot to at least wash up a bit and - empty. 

"You're kidding me, that's empty too?!?"  Grumble, whine, moan.  Maybe throw a Tupperware bowl.  No water at all.  Unless I start scooping from the river down the street, we're without.  I've considered it in the past.  It could be boiled, right?

There's a better option.  We are, after all, the rich.  (Did you know, if you merely live in the West, you are rich?)

I pile all the kids into the car to take the 20 minute drive to the free Spring for more water.

Yes, DRIVE to the ever-flowing, FREE Spring where I can fill as many jugs and buckets and bottles as I desire.  Nestled in a breath-taking area of our city, there is a fountain that never ceases.  Any one, at any time, can fill and fill and drink and drink.  And I grumble?



 


Get real, Cass.  You spoiled brat.  You whine that the taps have no water, but your fridge is full and you simply scoot your little car to a clear, cool spring and stock up easily, all too easily.  Then, a little jaunt over to the local library to pick up 24 books for the kids to enjoy.  For free.  Water and books.  Millions don't know these two gifts.

I'm reminded of when my best friend told me how her family and the ladies from her community in Kenya walk half the day to buy contaminated water.  WALK.  Half the day.  There was never a little tap that gave running water.  For many, there never will be a tap.  What they get is never free, and what they give their babies to drink, could eventually kill them.  My kids' three colored bottles are overflowing with safe, fresh drinking water. I've got a recycled jug filled up to wash dishes, and two more giant water containers for the week's drinking water. And I take even this for granted.  Imagine, being a Mother and not being able to give a safe drink to your child?

I choke back the tears and shake my head, staring at three little bottles, all in a row.  Blue, Pink, Red.  Three little bottles flowing over with a gift. 

This morning, it's not the tap that's broken.  It's me.

Broken right in the midst of my want and my selfish, entitled spirit.  I'm owed water.  But my sisters in Kenya?  They don't deserve to have clean water at the tips of their fingers? They deserve it far more than I do.

Humbled in spirit is where I am today, friends.  Once again, aware of my brokenness, my selfishness, my sinfulness.

Reminded that I need Jesus every day.  Every day to come in and refresh me with that renewing of the mind.  Because my mind?  It's busted up.  I desperately need the refreshing that moves me from entitled and spoiled, to broken and empty for His sacred filling. 

I want to live thankful and bowed low in reverence for all I have.  Teaching our children that they too are the blessed ones.  All that flows - every drop a gift from the One who gives and takes away.  And every drop, filling a bucket that is to be poured right back out again.

In His timing and in His grace - we grow.  Thank goodness for brokenness, because only when we are cut in two, can He put us back together.  Sometimes, the tap has to stop flowing so can we realize how blessed we are when it does flow.  So can we realize this truth - we are not owed anything.  When it flows, it is a gift.  Only when we realize how empty we are without Him, can He really, truly fill our cups.



Fill, fill, and overflow.  This splashing, coolness all over my heart and soul.  The kind of soothing renewal of strength and perspective that only comes from Jesus.







Have a beautiful weekend overflowing with God's grace, friends.

Written for Five Minute Friday

5 comments:

  1. Amen, sister. Great, wonderful post!

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  2. Dear Cassandra,

    Thank you for this beautiful challenging reminder. I have appreciated your thoughts and words as I have been reading them over the last year or so.

    Blessings from South Australia,

    Renee

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  3. I've read your blog post and it was really helpful for me. I will definitely visit your blog again to read more upcoming contents.

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  4. Whoa..wonderful truth this morning...

    I'm not even out of water, my tap is running S.L.O.W.E.R. than normal and I can relate... "I can't function", I say. What great perspective...to (re)consider.

    Thank you.

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  5. Wonderful post. I remember one winter on the farm when we had to melt snow on the stove so we would have water because our pipes had frozen. Soooo frustrating! But like you say...we are beyond blessed compared to so many other parts of the world. Thanks for sharing!

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