This longing for change started several years ago when we began dreaming about a life apart from the long, stressful work days Wes was stuck in. I felt very alone in my parenting and home education journey. Wes felt he was missing out on the things that truly mattered in life - family, ministry. We had money, but we were separated and conflicted and strained.
We felt God calling us to something very different.
We began to ask questions like:
- Do we really need this much money? (It wasn't that much, just to clarify - ha)
- Are we being wise with our spending and the way we allocate our funds?
- If we reduced our costs and consumption significantly, could our life be completely focused on non-material things - like spending time together as a family and engaging in ministry and outreach?
- How would this affect our working hours?
- How much of what the world tells us about 'work' is truth?
- As followers of Jesus, how much time 'at work' is pleasing to Him vs. time focused on trusting Him and being involved in full-out ministry?
- Really, how much money do we actually need for OURSELVES?
- What kind of family dynamic do we really want to build?
- Can't we choose to let God decide what our life looks like rather than having culture TELL us?
And so, we are choosing to completely change our life. To build something different. Part of it is the way this culture has worn us down. We have prayed hard and talked way into the wee hours, wondering if it's wise to take such a risk with three children, a house, commitments.
I mean, we're technically unemployed and have zero income. It's kind of insane.
For months we actually prayed about going to Uganda and spending several months there to serve and seek God's purpose for our lives. But as we prayed, we felt God revealing something to us. We started seeing the truth that we can and are serving right here. We can choose to live radically for Christ right where we are and THEN He will direct our paths.
Maybe it is Uganda for us.
Maybe it is right here. Who knows!?
Well, God, actually.
So, here we sit. We are completely releasing our life to the Creator. And, no, we're not quite sure exactly what that looks like yet. But we are desperately seeking Him to find out. Choosing to leave the comfort of security and trade it in for the uncertainty of our own business and investment in ministry. To sit in a place where we actually have to look up. Where we actually don't write our own story, but rather, desperately beg God to write it for us.
And the peace that is over us right now - it's astounding. And I know it- the peace that surpasses human understanding is only the peace of Christ. And I feel it now as I sit here and every day as I embrace the unknown.
We want to completely release our life and allow God to do something totally unique - so we're taking a big leap of faith. And sometimes, that's just what God asks of us. To step out and trust He's got our backs. And yes, there is a ton of uncertainty. There's a portion of skepticism from those around you. There is a heap of reliance on God needed. And, well, you have to be just a little bit crazy.
Crazy Love. I read that somewhere. That's what we're called to - to break out of this status quo 'normal' life and run crazy after our King. It's what we're clinging to - what we're striving for.
So, we're jumping.
Daring to ask the hard questions and let God author our lives completely. Let go of our own ambitions and our own dreams and put everything at His feet. Look around us and stand amazed at all we have and all we have to give.
To think deeply and profoundly about the way we are to live this one life...
this one life that is only preparing us for eternity - for our real life.
Embracing the truth - a life truly lived is a life truly released.
Sitting in awe of the wonder of how small we are, and yet how much God loves us and how amazing His plans are for every one of us.
"For I know the plans I have for you... plans to proper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jer. 29:11
"Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it. What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul?"
The Better Mom Mondays
A Holy Experience