Releasing a Life

Sunday, June 24, 2012

Last week, my husband chose to finish a ten year run at his job as General Manager at a large company.  The job was secure, well-payed, with full benefits and many perks.  It was a good position and he genuinely loved so many of the people he worked with.  But one month ago, Wes handed in his resignation and described to his boss his dream for a 'different' life.

This longing for change started several years ago when we began dreaming about a life apart from the long, stressful work days Wes was stuck in.  I felt very alone in my parenting and home education journey.  Wes felt he was missing out on the things that truly mattered in life - family, ministry.  We had money, but we were separated and conflicted and strained.

We felt God calling us to something very different.

Something new.




We began to ask questions like:
  • Do we really need this much money? (It wasn't that much, just to clarify - ha)
  • Are we being wise with our spending and the way we allocate our funds?
  • If we reduced our costs and consumption significantly, could our life be completely focused on non-material things - like spending time together as a family and engaging in ministry and outreach?
  • How would this affect our working hours?
  • How much of what the world tells us about 'work' is truth?
  • As followers of Jesus, how much time 'at work' is pleasing to Him vs. time focused on trusting Him and being involved in full-out ministry?
  • Really, how much money do we actually need for OURSELVES?
  • What kind of family dynamic do we really want to build?
  • Can't we choose to let God decide what our life looks like rather than having culture TELL us?

And so, we are choosing to completely change our life.  To build something different.  Part of it is the way this culture has worn us down.  We have prayed hard and talked way into the wee hours, wondering if it's wise to take such a risk with three children, a house, commitments. 

I mean, we're technically unemployed and have zero income.  It's kind of insane.

For months we actually prayed about going to Uganda and spending several months there to serve and seek God's purpose for our lives.  But as we prayed, we felt God revealing something to us.  We started seeing the truth that we can and are serving right here.  We can choose to live radically for Christ right where we are and THEN He will direct our paths.

Maybe it is Uganda for us.

Maybe it is right here.  Who knows!?

Well, God, actually.

So, here we sit.  We are completely releasing our life to the Creator.  And, no, we're not quite sure exactly what that looks like yet.  But we are desperately seeking Him to find out.  Choosing to leave the comfort of security and trade it in for the uncertainty of our own business and investment in ministry.  To sit in a place where we actually have to look up.  Where we actually don't write our own story, but rather, desperately beg God to write it for us.

Release.

And the peace that is over us right now - it's astounding.  And I know it- the peace that surpasses human understanding is only the peace of Christ.  And I feel it now as I sit here and every day as I embrace the unknown.


We want to completely release our life and allow God to do something totally unique - so we're taking a big leap of faith.  And sometimes, that's just what God asks of us.  To step out and trust He's got our backs.  And yes, there is a ton of uncertainty.  There's a portion of skepticism from those around you.  There is a heap of reliance on God needed.  And, well, you have to be just a little bit crazy.

Crazy Love.  I read that somewhere.  That's what we're called to - to break out of this status quo 'normal' life and run crazy after our King.  It's what we're clinging to - what we're striving for.

So, we're jumping.



Daring to ask the hard questions and let God author our lives completely.  Let go of our own ambitions and our own dreams and put everything at His feet.  Look around us and stand amazed at all we have and all we have to give.

To think deeply and profoundly about the way we are to live this one life... 
this one life that is only preparing us for eternity - for our real life.

Embracing the truth - a life truly lived is a life truly released.

Sitting in awe of the wonder of how small we are, and yet how much God loves us and how amazing His plans are for every one of us.


"For I know the plans I have for you... plans to proper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."  Jer. 29:11

"Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.  For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it. What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul?"
Matthew 16:24-26



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10 comments:

  1. Wow. That gives me goosebumps! It's so completely awesome when someone steps out in faith for Jesus. And do tell people. We are all bone weary from the world sucking the life out of us too. We are all tired of the stable and of the stuff. We are hooked but we won't admit it. Or just forgetful that God is still able to do amazing things with a life fully focused on Him.

    Oh to live a life devoted to Him, trusting, sold out, a daily testimony on our lips...

    Thanks for saying yes to God and going against the grain. Don't stop.
    And thank you.

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  2. Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.

    What an amazing testimony! Thank you for sharing your family's story.

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  3. It may feel rocky now, but trusting in God is always worth it. Even though my husband and I aren't in full-time ministry, we are self-employed and we understand the struggles that come with not having a steady paycheck. It requires a lot of faith and trust in God...and we wouldn't have it any other way. You will by in my prayers and change is always good. Hard, but good. ;)

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  4. My husband and I are in a transition stage too...he has been finishing up school, working full time and in the Marine Corps. I have a graduate degree in Speech Pathology and stay at home with our daughter and work very part time. We have been wrestling with this too...thanks for painting this picture and reminding us that God holds our life and future in His hands...God Bless you! I look forward to reading more of your blog.
    -Allison

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  5. WOW. This your life decision is amazing. I look forward to reading more and watching your journey through this leap of faith. Happy to be a new follower.

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  6. All the best in this stage of your life! It's a huge leap - I'm not sure I could do it! LOL - but things have a way of working out as they should! :D

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  7. So excited to see how God is going to work. Complete surrender to Him is the ultimate adventure and yet few are willing to risk not being in control... Thank you for the beautiful encouragement to step out in faith to whatever God has called us to do. I know He's been at work in my heart in an area and I've been scared to relinquish my {illusion of} control. God has used you to remind me again that it is my heart that He is after.

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  8. This is shocking- (the choosing no income part.) I don't think I can comprehend it. In this economy when many struggle just to put food on the table, or desperately try to find a job, it is hard to fathom leaving one. I am interested to see how it all works out.

    However, there is so much truth in earning what seems like "too much" money. Or is it that we just spend it all in the wrong way?

    I am sure some other source of income will come along. And It will be great to see the work you are all able to do for the Lord.

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  9. Very insiring Cassandra! Although not religious at all, I completely agree with your ideas regarding a society filled with consumption, wants vs. needs and pressure to work like crazy until there are no hours left in the day for relaxation, love, family and self-nurturing. It is brave to quit a job that offers security like that, especially with children. However, the more I am out in this crazy world, open to meeting new people and pondering their perspectives, I realize it is becoming more comon than you think. I have talked to so many people lately who have left thier "secure" or "corporate" jobs to fullfill thier passions and create employment out them so they have the power to do it their way.
    I would see what you are doing not so much as surrendering at all, but actually taking full control of your life's direction which is amazing! Heard from your Opa today that Wes's new business with your Dad is really doing well. Congrats on taking things in a new direction!

    Jody Stableford

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