Expectant

Saturday, June 9, 2012

I spent this whole week in anticipation of the weekend.  I had already wished the days away on Monday morning.  Ironically, it was one of the worst weeks I've had in a while.  I spent every day preparing for what was coming, rather than engaging in the present.  I was grumpy, tired, and disconnected.

Every day I woke up hoping it was over, to just get to the next thing.  Why do we do this?  Why do we wish our lives away?

"I can't WAIT until Friday!"

"When will this day be over?"

"Only FIVE MORE DAYS until..."

"When the kids are older it will be easier."

"If only they were 3-4 years bigger..."

"When we're done with the baby stage..."

But when we do this, we will ourselves to forget about today.  We live expectant that tomorrow will be better.  We ignore the gift of this very moment.  When a gift is ignored, it is left unwrapped - unloved.  We neglect to experience today and be expectant of everything this very hour holds.

We aren't promised the weekend will ever come.

We aren't even promised tomorrow will come.

I know these truths, but why do I so often forget what God has already taught me?  I throw away truth and exchange it for so much less.

Finally, Friday came and I realized our children just needed me to stop cleaning, stop preparing, stop anticipating tomorrow.  So, I climbed into their world played like a child for a long while, just gobbling up what today was serving.  And peace came over us.


Some throw a decade away, expecting the next will be better.  Some throw a life away, anticipating something more and more never comes.

I throw a week away - but it is all the same.  Precious gifts of time here on earth, gifts we ought to hold tight and cherish as if they are the last gift we could ever be given.

These children will grow.

This husband will age.

This body will decay.

And Friday might or might not come.

Cling to today.  Sit in all its glory - expectant only in this very moment.





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3 comments:

  1. Wonderful post. I too find myself saying "When the baby gets older....", "Only 4 more hours until DH comes home". We are wishing our precious time away. I love how my kids don't do this! They have no clue about the passing of days or exactly WHAT the weekend even is! They are joyous any day and every day...if only I could do that too!

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  2. This is a great post! I did this a lot after I had my first child. He was HARD and I kept asking the Lord to let the next 6 months fly by so it would get "easier". It saddens me when I think about how I missed out on his newborn stage, but the Lord quickly worked in my heart and things did get better. Now I'm about to have my 3rd! :) Hope your well, love the blog, and I am enjoying the transformations.

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    1. Thanks ladies - yes. I did this for my first 2 babies. I was grumpy and pretty much just begged to 'get through' each day. I counted the hours until bed time. Wow... has God done a work in my heart over the last few years. In many ways I wish I could start all over and do it again. My husband (very wisely) told me not to wish it away - God used that time to transform me in a huge way. God works everything out for His good, right? Makes His power so much more real when you can look back and see who you were, and who you are now... give me hope for what I might one day 'be' through Him and Him alone! XO - Cass

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