My boots fill completely with icy water while I desperately chase a Spring frog. I laugh hard - right out loud, so loud, everyone hears, some give me strange looks. My kids giggle and look at each other. It is pure, sweet, child-like joy that overtakes me in a moment that 10 years ago would have made me madder than ever. I remember a nature walk when I did nothing but yell at my husband because my feet were 'mucky'.
WATER in my boots? WATER IN MY BOOTS? Yes, water in those boots - and flowing over... pure happiness. Haha! Praise God for transformations. And frogs.
And in a world obsessed with, "What do you do for a living?", I find my LIVING right here with a glorious frog in my bucket. And I'm fighting and learning to be completely happy to just LIVE.
To just BE...
in this moment
in this stream
in this life.
Yes, THIS life. The life God gave specifically to me. I'm striving madly to be in His purpose. I'm reflecting today and I'm again realizing how backwards everything is in this crazy world.
Our culture has made life about DOING instead of BEING.
So, we ask, "What do you DO?" rather than "WHO are you?" And we all rhyme off the things we 'do', getting different responses, depending on who we're talking to. Some of us desperately try to impress, to convince people we're doing enough to measure up. Or at least we're doing more than her.
I don't want to be lost in doing - I want to be lost in loving. Loving life, loving creation, loving these children, loving my husband, loving others, loving the moments. Loving grace. Loving the constant changing of my heart. I want to be still, do nothing the world views as 'successful', and still, find divine purpose.
To be 'just a Mom' spending mornings wholly flooded by stream water, toads, and laughter - for many, it isn't much of an answer to the question of, "what do you do?". It just isn't.
"So, Cassandra, what do YOU do?"
"Oh, I romp around with my children all day. We play in streams and read books and eat snacks by the waterfall. We breathe in God's beauty. You know, that kind of thing."
I'm starting to think the question "What do you do?" truly means, "What have you accomplished?"
And it's all a matter of perspective. A worldly view of success and identity pitted against what Christ says about why we're here. This should be the question at the front of a Christ-follower's life: "who am I?". How we live it out determines our destiny AND our eternity.
'If I gain the whole world and forfeit my soul..." then what?
Identity, TRUE identity is found slowly, gradually. It's that Christianese word, 'sanctification', to which we are all called. And it comes down to accepting who God Almighty has designed us to be. And you know what I've realized? If we are truly in His will - our identity might not be very impressive to others in the so-called "real world". We may end up with nothing but a frog in our bucket - but it will be pure bliss. It is what it is, friends.
Overwhelming joy, however, is found sitting right smack in His arms, surrounded by the life He gave me. Surrounded by the ones he gave me. Wet socks and all.
"What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world,
yet forfeits his soul?
Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul?"
Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever
loses his life for my sake will find it.
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