Perfection for the Imperfect

Sunday, July 31, 2011

We've had some very, very rough weeks.  The days have been ridiculously hot and I've lost my cool.  Little boys who think they're men push their luck and their Mama's buttons.  I yell too much.  I'm weary.  I'm not enjoying things as I usually do.

I drone a continuous, "Please shut the gate.  Why is the door open?  The flies are coming in.  PLEASE SHUT THE DOOR!  Don't hit your sister.  Don't touch your brother.  Give that back.  Don't throw sand.  Don't throw toads.  Be nice to the dog.  Don't pull the toad's legs.  Don't colour on that.  Don't eat that.  Don't lick that.  Please, PLEASE, PLEAAAASE stop arguing.  Just eat. your. dinner."

I even sunk in the dried up river so far that I completely lost my boots.  I screamed, I ranted, I muttered, "UGGGH!!! Could these days get any WORSE!" and army crawled (seriously) back to shore to find three young kids staring in both horror and wonder at this crazy lady they got for a Mom.  I cried on my walk home - drenched, socked feet, toes oozing swamp goo.  I cried.  My neighbour just looked on in amazement as we trudged into the backyard.

Every night seems to end in an exasperated, "I love you hunny..." and a weary-eyed return to a messy kitchen and 3 hours of chores that need doing before sitting down to the articles due and the Homeschooling to plan.  Nights end at 1am and kids wake by 6.


So, when relatives I haven't seen for decades commented the other night that I'm 'the perfect Mom!', it didn't feel good - it stung.  It stings because they are SO wrong.  So horribly wrong.  I'm nowhere near perfect and some days I wouldn't even accept 'good' as a description for my parenting.

My parenting is this: Imperfect.  Just like me.



But yesterday was different.  I found Perfect.  Not in myself.  Not in our children or my husband.  But in a simple visit to a waterfall.  There is no perfection in human beings - don't look for it - it's not there.  The only perfect on earth is that which is pure, God-made...untainted by free-will or materialism.  And I see perfection in a showering cold waterfall.  In the rocks.  In the crystal clear pools of gathered water.


In a trusting boy, gripping Mama's hand.

I see perfection in all He has given.  It is in nature that I find clarity.  That's why it's so important for me to "unplug".  No hope is found in shopping malls or stores.  We are not refreshed by consuming or looking to ourselves.   Hope is found in the simple, every day beauty of God's creation.

If you need a new start, like me...  if you're worn out and so tired of everything imperfect, find 'perfect' today... close your eyes.  Listen to the breeze.  Find flowing water and dip your toes in... watch your children fall in awe with the simple things and dare to sit and be still and small in nature.

Seek and Cling to Times of Refreshing...

 





 

 It was like all that water, rushing over my toes and feet could wash away all the mistakes.  All the frustrations and upsets of the past few days, all the regrets.  

I can start anew...



Roast a marshmallow.  Slap on some Chocolate.  Hug it with crackers.  Bite.  Soothe the soul with giggles and hugs and books by fire-side.  Embrace the moments as they are - refreshments.  Gifts.  
Strength for the journey.






Life is sweet...  but not forever.  Find it today, friends...






 


6 comments:

  1. Why is it that you ALWAYS seem to know just what to write so that I can identify? As I've said many times, I'm SO THERE. This summer has been especially trying and this year I do not even have the "break of school" to look forward to. I'm beginning homeschooling in September and I am just PRAYING that the summer's attitudes do not follow us into the fall. But you're right...I need to learn to take time to "unplug" and just allow God's perfect life flowing water wash over me. I have been stuck in the muck for far too long...it's time for some refreshment! Thanks for sharing as always, Cass! XO

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  2. Lovely post. I know all too well that need to refocus. Again and again! :)
    I love the photo of you holding your little boy's hand!

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  3. Thanks ladies - Jennifer, I don't know - maybe our lives parallel in more ways than we know, eh? Thanks for your love!
    And thanks for liking the pic of Baby A and me... I just spontaneously snapped it and I love it too! :)

    (hug)

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  4. Hi Cassandra,

    I really enjoy reading your blog. I find you very informed. Although my own opinion may sometimes differ, I find you always make me think twice and consider other points of view.

    Thank you for opening me up to that.
    I'm curious to know how you became "unplugged" given your educational background in television and media, I'm thinking you may have once been interested or it could have been what made you decide to do so. Although I myself am not "unplugged" at the moment; I've talked endlessly with my boyfriend about the possibility of being "semi-unplugged" in the future when we are married and starting a family of our own.
    I'd love to hear your journey.

    Regards,

    Marla A.

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  5. Ah, life. That crazy, wonderful, beautiful, uncomfortable, wild, happy, awkward, gorgeous roller-coaster ride. Sometimes I find myself wondering if folks will soon find out what an incredible fraud I am and how I have so little of 'it' together. Other days, I feel so confident and sure of the direction in which God is leading us. I'm glad there are more and more moms and especially homeschooling moms who are willing to admit their weaknesses and share with others their strengths!

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  6. "Life is sweet... but not forever. Find it today..."

    Cassandra, love this quote. Is it yours, and may I borrow it? Thanks for your wonderful blog!

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